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+--- Thread: 101 facts to know about Kari Lake (/thread-775.html)
101 facts to know about Kari Lake - PJ - 11-06-2022
Kari Lake doesn't read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.
Time waits for no woman. Unless that woman is Kari Lake.
If you spell Kari Lake in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Kari Lake breathes air ... five times a day.
In the Beginning there was nothing ... then Kari Lake roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
When God said, “Let there be light!” Kari said, “Say Please.”
Kari Lake has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
If Kari Lake were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Kari Lake and they both fought, they would both win.
The dinosaurs looked at Kari Lake the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
Kari Lake' tears cure cancer. Too bad she has never cried.
Kari Lake once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that her foot broke the speed of light
If you ask Kari Lake what time it is, she always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' she roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Kari Lake appeared in the 'Street Fighter II' video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused her to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Kari Lake replied, “That's no glitch.”
Since 1969, the year Kari Lake was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Kari Lake does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Kari Lake does not sleep. She waits.
The chief export of Kari Lake is liberal tears.
Kari Lake recently had the idea to sell her pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Kari Lake.
On the 7th day, God rested ... Kari Lake took over.
Kari Lake can dribble a bowling ball.
Kari Lake drinks napalm to fight her heartburn.
Kari Lake' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.
If you want a list of Kari Lake' enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Kari Lake has never blinked in her entire life. Never.
Kari Lake once shot an enemy plane down with her finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
Kari Lake does not use spell check. If she happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Kari Lake can pee her name into concrete.
Kari Lake' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Kari Lake.
Kari Lake counted to infinity... twice.
Kari Lake can speak Braille.
Kari Lake can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time.
Kari Lake can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Kari Lake stands faster than anyone can run.
Once a cobra bit Kari Lake' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Kari Lake once won a game of Connect Four in three moves.
Champions are the breakfast of Kari Lake.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Kari Lake.
Kari Lake can slam revolving doors.
Kari Lake does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Kari Lake goes killing.
The dark is afraid of Kari Lake.
Kari Lake can kill two stones with one bird.
Kari Lake can play the violin with a piano.
Kari Lake makes onions cry.
Death once had a near-Kari-Lake experience.
When Kari Lake writes, she makes paper bleed.
Kari Lake can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Kari Lake never retreats; She just attacks in the opposite direction.
Kari Lake can build a snowman out of rain.
Kari Lake once punched a man in the soul.
Kari Lake can drown a fish.
Kari Lake once had a heart attack. Her heart lost.
When Kari Lake looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Kari Lake and Kari Lake.
When Kari Lake enters a room, she doesn't turn the lights on, she turns the dark off.
The only time Kari Lake was ever wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.
Kari Lake can tie her shoes with her feet.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Kari Lake's fist.
Kari Lake is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Kari Lake used to beat up her shadow because it was following to close. It now stands 15 feet behind her.
There has never been a hurricane named Kari because it would have destroyed everything.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Kari Lake.
When Kari Lake does a pushup, she's pushing the Earth down.
Kari Lake is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Kari Lake doesn't wear a watch. She decides what time it is.
Kari Lake does not get frostbite. Kari Lake bites frost.
In Pamplona, Spain, the people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Kari Lake.
Kari Lake spices up her steaks with pepper spray.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Kari Lake out. It didn’t work.
Kari Lake can get in a bucket and lift it up with herself in it.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Kari Lake has 72... and they're all lethal.
Kari Lake is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Kari Lake doesn't shower, she only takes blood baths.
Kari Lake can divide by zero.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Kari Lake. There were no survivors.
Kari Lake destroyed the periodic table, because Kari Lake only recognizes the element of surprise.
Kari Lake once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
When Kari Lake was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Kari Lake.
When Kari Lake does division, there are no remainders.
It takes Kari Lake 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Kari Lake proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before her first space expedition.
Kari Lake once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Kari Lake once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Kari Lake.
Kari Lake had to stop washing her clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
Kari Lake can sneeze with her eyes open.
Kari Lake can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Kari Lake beat the sun in a staring contest.
Superman owns a pair of Kari Lake undies.
Kari Lake doesn't breathe, she holds air hostage.
Kari Lake can clap with one hand.
Before he forgot a gift for Kari Lake, Santa Claus was real.
In an average living room there are a thousand objects Kari Lake could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Kari Lake invented airplanes because she was tired of being the only person that could fly.
Kari Lake's belly button is actually a power outlet.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Kari Lake.
Kari Lake is the only woman who can fight herself and win.
Kari Lake' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.
Kari Lake can start a fire with an ice cube.
The flu gets a Kari Lake shot every year.
Kari Lake was exposed to the Coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Kari Lakes' roundhouse kick.